Purging Giving Fruit platters loss and the healing power of music

Yesterday was an excellent day for purging and today is no exception thirty six records made the heap today as did a number of stained rags which were of less than suitable condition to be of much use.


Also yesterday I was amused to watch a rather attractive woman walking through Home Depot with a toilet seat cover stuck in the back of her jeans she made it half way through the store before she either pulled it out or it fell out I wouldn't know I and two other coworkers were dieing laughing standing just inside one aisle or another. I attempted to get my phone camera to fire but by the time i darted back to take a picture composing myself only slightly in the process she had already freed herself of the extra baggage.
The problems I solve on a daily basis are often interesting and if you have a home improvement dilemma I would be happy to help here as well with recommendations. That is the best part of my job short of playing with heavy machinery on a daily basis.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to gather some items for a family in need and send some others to the salvation army I am still thinking of the family in need and wishing them the best. Their are so many things we loose that cannot be replaced and I am sad to say that the family dog was one of them.
On a brighter note Eric Clapton is lightening the mode in the house with some good old fashioned blues the cradle album is playing his talent and skill combine to make incredible music which will likely fade into some Nora Jones.

I have a fair amount of cleaning left to do today and a fruit platter to complete for my nieces preschool tomorrow nothing like fresh pineapple.

Recuring dreams of peace in anxious circumstances

I have been having a recuring dream lately which seems to have hit its conclusion durring several hours of sleep on this fine evening just before spring pokes its head around the corner melting the masses of snow covering everything in New England.

I am not one for being a prophet nor do I have belief in much of anything leading our lives on a string, however our dreams are from a deeper part of ourselves and as such have a greater meaning at most times than outside sources as they are made up of our hopes dreams and mental issues which we are working through on a daily basis even if only on a subconscious level.

Listening to ones dreams can show us things we did not even realize were bothering us. I have not had an anxiety attack in several years although there was a time when I had them often. My dream was quite vivid with a man who was quite dashing and calm even in the worst of times I had been frustrated and complaining about the way something I needed to repair had been done nothing new I had faced something which was not bothering me at all on a conscious level I did not worry about nor do I waste much though about. By the end of the dream I was completely calm as if under a deep hypnosis but highly awake the feeling was empowering and I woke refreshed in the wee hours of the morning facing oncoming traffic as the driver drove head on into opposing traffic I myself was wedged tightly against the drivers door in an uncomfortable type of position while he was driving the symbolism could mean many things but is likely the feeling of being traped and unable to escape without impending doom but no where in the dream did i feel uncomfortable just that I likely needed to feel so.

In short it was a complex set of feelings which empowered and did not slow me from the onset. I have not had many dreams I remember of late and have had few that were so enlightening or left me feeling so much better than I did when I fell asleep in the first place.

Giving and self improvement

It is just past midnight I have had a day not good or bad just functioning. The little one and I ran errands after her nap time I managed a cat nap while she was sleeping. We donated a large bag of clothes at the salvation army which cleared up a large space in the living room. We also gathered up some barbies and books for a coworker who's family lost everything this week in a house fire which was a total loss. It could not have happened to nicer people.
Giving is a gift in itself not only do you have more space than you had before but you receive something greater when you know you have actually helped another. The act of giving adds something to our lives and character that you can receive in no other way. Giving is essential to the human spirit and feeling joy. It made me feel
I enjoyed the day with my daughter who is growing and learning more every day. The older girls are all away today. I worked a four hour shift at HD and gathered up a cart full of scrap lumber for burning. I enjoyed the company of some coworkers and bought a box of cedar shakes for my mother on clearance for ten dollars usually costing around 125.00. I frequently buy items on clearance we can use or I think others can use I hope others will do the same for me.

Work is good for your soul day five

I don't really hate either one of my jobs however my part time job insists on twenty hours of availability during the week including weekends the result is open hours on Friday so here is how this shift usually works I go to work Monday through Friday from 2:30 until 11:00 unless their is overtime then I stay later. Thursdays I work from 2:30 to 11:00 pm then work from typically 4:00AM until 1:00 PM returning to work for 2:30 until 11:00 pm resulting in me being awake for a typical 32 hours straight. The only thing I typically get for sleep is extra sleep on Thursday and then several small cat naps. I call this thirty two hours hell day and I really don't like it.
Chores take a back burner as does everything else. I did manage to join blog carnival in the wee hours of the morning and to do this entry in addition to checking bank balances. Later on during my break I will recheck the bills I am going to pay before I pay them to make sure I am not missing anything and often I cut the checks right then and there.

this is not my beatiful house this is not my beautiful wife how did i get here?

Talking heads has a connection to daily life in that one line that seems to resonate with me, and I imagine with most other people at one time or another.
This is day three almost one percent down. and the days go by
During bouts of melancholy I find the only thing that will get me out of a stupor is music.... the pick of the day is Phish Birds of a feather there is a positive resonance in the song even if the lyrics are anything but. I'm not crazy about most of the rest of the album and there are a few tracks which I positively hate but I do enjoy that track enough to make it through the whole album in one whack. Larry Carlton Sapphire blue was playing first but Ive had enough and I realay don't want to go on with the same hit after hit on the radio.
So today I am attempting to reclaim the way I once felt about music when it was my whole life and woke me up inside reminding me of good and bad times some sweet some sultry and some downright miserable but that is what makes us human what gives us depth and character.
I went through and filed about eighty documents in the last few days and eliminated a huge pile for the burn heap or shred pile depending on the paper. I try to recycle anything I can think of to get more use out of it before I send it to the great trash can in the sky IE the municipal dump.
I knocked out a strainer full of dishes and washed yet another huge section of tile floor on my hands and knees before wiping down the counter bleaching them and washing them down again.

Tomorrow is yet again payday even though I have already determined where all the dollars and cents I will be receiving will go it feels good to have another chunk of change coming in to knock out some more bills including the electric bill which will dodge the monthly fee by a day or three.

It is always harder to change your means than your spending but when your means suddenly change it is difficult to make the necessary changes to meet in the middle and even harder to save.
Since December I have been working one full time job and a nearly the same at a part time job and it is still difficult to make ends meet. It is getting easier as I am nearing the end of one large payment multiple times a month you feel very good watching the balances drop and will feel even better when you move onto the next one.

I feel like today my mentality has changed a bit it may just be the music but I have made some progress over the last few days

Not one solitary comment about the state of the House

If you are a married man in this century and have been a stay at home dad or have done or said anything recently you have likely gotten yourself into trouble.
If you on the other hand do nothing your still gonna be in trouble. what a quandary
Yesterdays efforts went completely unnoticed by anyone no pleasant comment or any comment at all for that matter.

This morning I am off to the post office to buy stamps after recovering the babies snow suit and the collection and charging of some batteries I have started another fire and am off to shut down the furnace. Then off to city hall to pay down the tax bill which is now under six hundred dollars from where it was in December my goal is to have it eliminated by the middle/end of February. Eliminating the tax bill from my dolls will allow me to free up extra money from the second job to pay down the highest credit card in my arsenal.

In the twilight hours I spent about an hour working on the federal income taxes clearing a nice big spot on my desk as I entered one random thing after another. It is amazing how many tiny pieces of paper it requires to value yourself for taxes to the federal government.

Day one clean up declutter and eliminate wasted time and frustration

In an effort to clean up and simplify my life the first and most necessary step right now seems to me to be to cut spending clean up and declutter its a warmer day so I killed the furnace and began to burn scrap wood to clean up all the while cutting the oil bill. The kitchen is a disaster as the Christmas tree had a home there the furniture we moved to make it fit is yet to return to its home today I will remedy that along with decluttering anything that needs to return to the basement.
I should say that our family is quite large compared to most. I am the only man in a household of women and girls. We have three daughters two nieces and a sister in law along with my wife all housed under the same roof. To say I am is outnumbered and out gunned is an understatement.
So as you might imagine on a nearly daily basis it looks as if a bomb has exploded in our kitchen the girls all have chores which they often execute in a less than urgent or efficient manner.
step one find the bottom of the sink -success

step two fill it back up -
step one find the bottom of the sink -success

doesn't seem like steps are going to work

so ( I wonder if anyone will notice?) I did all the dishes while boiling noodles to make lunch then cleaned the counters and moved on to the floor sweeping vigorously I usually use a shop vac it does more than a broom in most cases. then an old fashioned scrubbing on hands and knees with a stained sweatshirt and some heavy duty SOS floor cleaner. I didn't know these tiles where white hum mm....


Then I came in here carrying random dirty laundry which I threw in the washer and began blogging
In new England this winter we have had one massive pile of snow after another amounting to my fence in the front yard being below the snow line on either side of the street and either side of the driveway we have mounds roughly seven feet high. on every warm day snow is pushed out into the street to melt in small shovel fulls of packed ice breaking down like sand as it hits the warm pavement you could do this dozens of times on a warm day and still not get too far ahead. so yet again I worked at the berms of ice along the edge of the driveway trying to avoid sinking later in the season into the mounds of dense ice.


Between trips outside With Jazz playing quietly in the kitchen not the slower type but a faster beat good for keeping you motivated I vacuum between trips outside knocking out the dining room rug and the living room rug along with the hallway to the stairs cleaning up as much laundry and scraps of trash along the way that always seem to work into the corners and edges of the room.