Clown shoes Paint Brushes Time and Creativity with great toast

I have painted at one time or another for most of my adult and adolecent life. At times I have stoped for long periods at a time not holding a brush for months or years at a time. As the regularity of day to day life seemed to draw out all the positive and negative energy which an artist needs to have feeling in their work like anything in the world without heart it falls short.

Over the last week i have completed several paintings and have restarted a number more. Art supplies are strewn around the house already as I struggle to bring them together mixing mediums and methods all working at the same time to try to draw somthing out of myself that used to be so ingrained I thought it would never leave me.

I have one that I have been continualy repainting over and over and again I definitly understand why an artist would burn canvas but what if its the one with the hiden masterpiece burred below a quarter inch of layers painted and repainted. You can know if you dont give up trying maybee...

The most simple of meals can always make an impact deep within the soul the body or the mind the senses and sensations of a simple food like toast with a specific jam or jelly with a clasic coat of butter and honey. Why can a piece of toast wake somthing because it brings back the sensations and wake a part of a person reminding them perhaps not directly but indirectly of a passion or a thought or somthing deep and burried ideas and knowlege are awoken even if just on a sub level. Good toast has always seemed better with a paint brush. Just like a song can make you sing or dance or even just wiggle especialy if you are rythm challenged. Not that I am the proverbial man dancing on everyones feet in giant clown shoes...

When I think of all the time I have not spent working but have twiddled away doing this or that it makes me a bit angry with myself. Be that as it may it occured to me how many people there are out there playing farmivlille or some similar game on a webpage investing hours and hours of time in fictional characters all the while missing out on their own creativity and inspirations. I have not been inspired in any way by these games but have seen many myself included waist hours and hours of time in mindless abandon. ohh im ranting again... Any way the conclusion I draw from all of this is that these are often one of very few choices the working class get to make on a very real level where they can succede or feel that they acomplish somthing which they can value and win no maybee achieve somthing. My feeling is that so many of us connect to these types of things on a sub level giving our over cooked brains the feeling if only for a few hours of control and freedom from outside control.

I think that is why many react very badly when a bad thing hapens in a game or the service changes or ends. War of Warcraft alone has  a 2.2 billion dollar market share in selling an alternate reality. Second life offers a similar world where you can build and sell anything you can think up create and or add animations to. Like when aol was young and offered the opportunity to reinvent yourself on the internet. Lying was and probably still is widespread throughout the internet.

I dont know what do you think?